Just Friends

It might not make much sense today, to this generation. But it did for me and my generation. Having a friend of the opposite gender was rare and was against the code of moral order. That makes me wonder, if that is the reason for increasing crime against women.

Co-education was proudly denied in my native, we had only one co-ed school which also did not attract admissions. But for me and my friends, studying in a co-ed school used to be one constant fantasy. We were sure that  such thing can never happen, but still we dreamed. The lineup of Bollywood movies with the leads being the best friends, even more triggered our fantasy. In high Schools, boys talked about girls and girls talked about boys. The human interest in the forbidden. Just a look at a girl or a boy fired rumors. So, it was best avoided or best hidden from the eyes of the world.

Most of the Men and women of the 80’s still, carry this in their head. The confusion of being friends with the opposite gender. A very few, have overcome this and have established a good rapport. I wonder, if they also went through a phase of transition, did they think twice before developing a friendship, was it an intentional personal growth or it just happened naturally. If it did happen naturally, then they must be lucky enough. For most of the people, it is a task and I wish everyone takes the task in hand and bring an equilibrium in the human kind.

I was traditionally brought up in a girl’s school, to be followed by a girl’s college and even my work revolved only around women in a school and Tupperware. I never ever had an inhibition to talk to men but I did have an initial inhibition to friend zone them. To let men come in to the personal circle, took a bit of a task. But I am happy I did. Now, I get to see the world with better clarity and that’s neuroplasticity happening in me (learned this word just yesterday from a friend)

No one has ever told me not to have friends of the opposite gender. I have seen my mom having very good friendship at work and my dad’s female friends have become the best of our family friends. My brother always had healthy girlfriends. But why did I not have ones except for the cousins. Maybe I didn’t have an exposure. I envy and admire the current generation, who are so cool and the attitude of oneness is awesome. They don’t have inhibitions and this is leading to a tremendous creative burst and organizations and society as such is benefiting from such friendships. The co-education set up is creating a positive change. The idea of my generation realizing their dreams (dreams of having a friend of the opposite gender) on their children is also another major factor I guess.

Gone are the day, boys had to visit temples, tuition classes and the likes to see a girl. Girls are no more a priced possession safe inside the four walls. Girls are breaking barriers every day to prove their mettle. A society with equality will be the best bet we can have. Let’s stop tagging the friends of opposite gender as a colleague, neighbor, boss, acquaintance, mentor etc and start addressing them as FRIEND, if they really mean or click to you as friend. The natural attraction between men and women that most fear, will transcend with time. It will create a bond that is over the mind and body and will connect to the soul. It is a challenge, to break our mental barriers and the belief system. But that’s the way we evolve. That’s the way to we become limitless.

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