Can happy memory hurt? This was a recent random thought that popped in my head. In the beginning, I thought, what’s the big deal, there is no two way to it. Good memories can make anyone happy until I went deep inside to find the answer.
I am (was) a dreamer. Dreams can take you forward and backwards. It’s fuelled by imagination and memories. Somewhere down the line, I was fortunate to let go of bad memories, or should I say as a perennial optimist, I only took all that was positive into my headspace. Did it help me? Yes, it did help me a lot.
As a dreamer, I was used to going to the past and the future like the pendulum of a clock. That gave me the energy, the motivation, the drive to be optimistic. Sooner I realised it also started draining me. Don’t we all get bored watching even a super hit movie on repeat? Ah, and that’s what happens to the mind with memories too, it longs to create new memories. That longing for happiness, that longing for life to happen. That longing, hurts.
Even when life happens, mind involuntarily goes back to the previous memory (the happy memory) compares it and analyses and paralyses the present. Now, you get my point on how even a good memory can hurt you. I have also lately found that the longing is what keeps us hurt, sad, stuck.
When I was mindfully able to focus on the present without oscillating to the past or the future, it was TERRIBLY BORING at first. Sitting with nothing in the head even when I was free was so very different. When I got used to it, I discovered the amount of energy the present has. It gave the focus, the calmness, the energy to live fully in the present. Ah, it feels light. It feels fresh to look at people as if I am looking at them for the first time. It feels awesome to experience anything as if experiencing for the first time.
What do you think? Do you have memories? How about cleaning it now and then so you can make space for many more?
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